People with bald heads save the planet.

You probably think that this is going to be a crazy idea, but in theory it could be the answer to all of our global warming problems and all it would only cost is the price of a sharp haircut.

Recent research has shown that the ice sheets of the Antarctic have had the effect of reflecting back the heat from the sun. (This effect is called “Albedo”). The ideal white surface has an Albedo of 100%. The Albedo for fresh snow is 95%, compared to water which is roughly 3%, and although no test has been carried out on a bald head that I know of (simple reason being that I have only just figured out the solution to our imminent global catastrophe), I would imagine that a single bald head must carry the Albedo value of around 60%.

The total area of the Antarctic ice sheet is about 14 million Km square. And the world human population in Feb. 2008 was around 6.65 billion give or take a couple. My maths isn’t that fantastic and I apologize if it is totally wrong, but this is just an estimate, but that should mean that if we all shaved our heads and stood outside, the rough surface area of ourselves would equate to about 270 million Km squared. Also because we are not as reflective as ice or snow, you could either put white fluffy hats on your heads which would bring your Albedo up to between 75% and 95%, but assuming that you are not going to wear a hat and just shave your head, the Albedo would be half that of the ice and snow, which would have the effect of halving the equivalent of the earth’s population. Which would, in turn, half the surface area of our combined heads.

This equals 132 million Km squared. This is about 9 times larger than the Antarctic ice sheet.

My calculations are as accurate as I can make them, and I am somebody who knows nothing about nothing. But hey, I am also a bloody genius.

So next time someone tells you that you look too aggressive with your shaven head just say you did it for the environment, and hey, these figures are just for the human population. You could also shave your dogs, cats and guinea pigs if you feel inclined.

I did not shave this cat!

Gibbo.